Of turkey and hernias

My wife and I have several things in common and one of them is our love for roast turkey.

Because of this, Thanksgiving around our house usually comes two or three times a year along with the occasional “turkey parts” supper when such “pieces/parts” are available at the market. (“…and we had another Thanksgiving dinner that just couldn’t be beat”)

So what does this have to do with hernias you may ask? Well I’ll tell you.

In the last few posts I’ve mentioned that I recently had surgery that repaired not one but four separate hernias all during the same operation and I am under strict orders that for the first couple-three weeks I’m not to lift anything heavier than a milk carton…Period!


Last Sunday, my lady made us a wonderful roast turkey dinner with all the trimmin’s which of course provided us with not only a bountiful repast but plenty of leftovers as well which of course, was fine with us. So the next day, still stuck at home for the initial recovery period, lunch time rolled around and drooling helplessly, I headed to the refrigerator and the roast turkey that resided within only to find out that I absolutely could not lift the pan upon which my beloved turkey carcass rested, out of the fridge. We don’t tend to go for small turkeys when we buy (we like lots of leftovers) so no matter what I tried, my lunch stubbornly stayed outside of my grasp. Such torture I cannot describe!!!

I had a badly made tuna fish sandwich instead (it was hard to see through the tears in my eyes) and and spent the rest of the afternoon fighting a bad case of “lack-a-turkey” syndrome.

The next day, (after finally breaking down and sobbing for an hour on my wife’s shoulder when she came home from her quilt shop that evening before) upon opening the refrigerator door, I found a large plastic container filled to the brim with sliced roast turkey! I stood there in awed wonder…How lucky am I, I thought, to have such a wonderful, thoughtful lady in my life! No man has ever had it better. It’s not every man’s wife who would offer sliced turkey I tell you!

I’m still sitting at home waiting to heal sufficiently to point I can wear pants again and, hopefully, return to work soon but while I’m waiting, I can rest at ease knowing that as long as the turkey lasts, I’ll always be able to open that refrigerator door and  take out all the turkey I want without  fear of damaging any of my surgeon’s fine work thanks to my wonderful, thoughtful lady.

Life is good!

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2 thoughts on “Of turkey and hernias

  1. Not sure I wanted the “no pants” visual.

    Had 1/3 of my colon removed when I was 29 – I don’t envy your recovery, but it sounds like you do have a delightful and loving lady at your side. Makes it much, much easier!

    Mine took over my day job and when I came back they were very, very sorry. Sure, they pretended otherwise, but besides being smarter she is a georgeous redhead. Never again will I do that 🙂

  2. Kirk:
    Turkey? Nothin’ like it especially post op. Had turkey at a reluctantly attended gathering recently. It was rotten. Butternut squash was more like pigfatnut squash. Mashed potatoes? B-. Gravy? B. Cranberry sauce? Sexton can. Had better turkey dinner at FHS cafeteria.
    Hope you are feeling very well now.

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